


Set My Body Free

by aybeexinfinity



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, i can't help it everyone always has to catch feelings, this one will be short so i can actually finish the other shit i'm working on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:22:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21678193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aybeexinfinity/pseuds/aybeexinfinity
Relationships: The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 9
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

The lingering smell of oil, machinery, and inadequately vented fumes let Celestia know she was safe aboard the Unreliable. The name, as bestowed by her unfortunate predecessor, may have sounded like an incredibly ill omen but the ship had served her well since her unexpected inheritance. Nothing about the Halcyon colony was what she’d been sold prior to joining up, her current path following an allegedly mad scientist least of all, but the ship—her ship—it was a sanctuary of sorts. Even with her ragtag group of companions and friends and one impeccable cleaning machine all crammed into the same hull, she never had issues finding peace within the metal walls of the ship.

Unless, of course, ADA had a comment queued up in her CPU. As much as the AI exhibited poor timing with some of her announcements, she much preferred the passive aggressive wisecracks to the stiff VIs she had left back on earth. In that first trip in the Unreliable, right after the untimely death of Alex Hawthorne and her sudden awakening by Phineas Wells, having ADA there made her feel a little less lonely. It wasn’t long after that that she managed to rope others into her mad quest to resurrect the other colonists, which led her traipsing around a foreign galaxy eons away from home and the way of life she once knew.

Some things were harder to get past than others. As monetized as everything had been on Earth, as much as capitalism gripped tight so many aspects of day-to-day life, she never imagined businesses to own everything from bathroom breaks to grave sites. What she had failed to prepare for, though, was loneliness. She expected to take the big sleep and wake up in the company of people who shared her memories of Earth, her customs, her beliefs to some degree, and her foundations. Halcyon had nothing but strangeness and unfamiliarity.

“Burning the midnight oil, Captain?” The voice startled her in her seat, nearly causing her to knock the datapad off the table. The weight of it prevented her from the mishap, but it screeched across the surface all the same. She let out a nervous laugh and he apologized in response.

“Yeah, just trying to learn what I can about all these different organizations and who owns who. Where they all fit in the greater network of things, you know?” Some of it had unravelled organically in her travels but there were still more companies and brands than she could shake a stick at. ADA had actually fulfilled her request to offload what she knew about the Halcyon colony onto the datapad to make things easier for the Captain. “Sorry, I hope the radio didn’t wake you.”

“Not at all.” He promised, taking his empty mug to the drink dispenser and pressing a few buttons. It started to prepare his custom blend of caffeine, some milk equivalent from a strange new creature, and another type of stimulant born out of the world of corporations. “Truth be told I was going over the few diagrams in Bakonu’s journal, hoping to surmise the meaning or insinuations. It is, as things stand, hopeless. So I resigned myself to cleaning my weapons and will try again with fresh eyes.”

He still had remnants of gunpowder on his robes, the deep blue with gold trim that first caught her eye in Edgewater’s church. The beauty of Terra 2 itself was stunning enough, but in comparison to the pre-fab town of Edgewater, the OSI church was markedly different. The stained glass, a remnant of true art in the marketing driven colony, stood out to her. There was a subtle opulence to the finer details of the building and the clothes he wore and the spines of the books that adorned his alcove. She may not have been a firm believer in any one religion back on Earth, but there was a warmth she felt at the sight of Earth’s distant relative of religion.

“You sure aren’t like the priests I remember.” The image he presented had shattered, or at least split, very quickly once they encountered a group of Primals. He had a great violence within him and the robes sheltered some hidden depths she had only just began to scratch the surface of.

“From Earth, you mean?” He inquired, turning from the drink dispenser in the ship’s kitchen to face her proper. He folded both hands before him and leaned on the counter.

“So you believe me about that?” She said with relief. “I’m glad _someone_ does. The whole colony looks at me like I’m crazy any time I mention the Hope or Earth. It’s…isolating, to say the least.”

“I can only imagine. As a Vicar, it’s my job to listen and try not to pass judgement…but for the record, I think it would take an awful lot of something made by Rizzo’s to concoct such a story as yours. And to consistently retell it, I might add. So yes, I believe you.”

“Hell of a roundabout way of saying it, but I’ll take it.” She teased, letting a tired smile peak through. “But yeah, the clergymen I’m used to had _way_ different rules than you. No violence, no sex, and definitely no guns.”

“I’m not sure which part of that shocks me most.” He raised his eyebrows, pondering her words. “While violence may not be the centre of life on Terra 2, the use of weapons for self-defence absolutely is.”

She may have been trying to drop a hint, and he may have missed it completely. Either that, or he was very much trying to divert the conversation away from her intended outcome. Just to make sure she knew for certain, she pushed the envelope just a bit more.

“I take it that Halcyon Vicars aren’t sworn to celibacy either?” The Captain asked, pushing her hair over to one side and leaning back in the chair. The Vicar stared back at her, processing what she had said, and was interrupted only by the beeping of the drink dispenser. He stammered for a moment, turning to get the now-full mug, and cleared his throat before turning back to her.

“No, we are most decidedly not. Thank the Architect.” He made it into a joke of sorts but she appreciated his candor. With his drink in hand his eyes lingered on her for a moment longer than necessary. Celestia feared if she didn’t act now in her haze of fatigue then she never would.

But she choked. The words caught in her throat and she watched the moment pass her by entirely. At the realization there was no follow up on her part, the Vicar wished her well with her studying and retired to his room. As soon as she heard the gentle hum of his door closing, she rolled her eyes and lay her head in both hands.

For a whole year prior to boarding the Hope, she’d undergone rigorous weapons training in preparation for the hostile worlds that awaited. She’d endured two months of gut retrofitting, getting her system used to foreign bacteria and microbes in an attempt to boost her immune system. All this training, and none of it prepared her for being this lonely. None of it readied her for being a coward in the face of the chance to fix it.

“You alright, Boss?” Felix was wide awake but tired just beneath the surface. He had a datapad in one hand streaming a tossball game and an empty bottle of Gigantaur Energy Drink in the other. He tossed it into the trash compactor and rummaged in the fridge for something to snack on.

“All good, just tired.” She was telling half-truths, but the part she left out was hers alone. Felix was happy to accept her response, take his food, and go back down the hall to his quarters. Celestia would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about asking Felix. He wasn’t ugly by any means and he was kind to her. There was something about him that was too innocent, though. Childlike not in a lack of maturity but rather a lack of weathered mind.

Sliding the datapad to the middle of the table, Celestia got up from her seat and headed down the hallway with a heavy sigh. She could hear Felix’s tossball transmission, the sound of Parvati tinkering away on whatever mechanical piece she had laying around this time, and something that sounded like humming from Ellie’s room. As she passed by the Vicar’s door, though, only silence. Her feet stopped before she could convince herself otherwise, and she let go of all fear for just long enough to knock on his door. It was a quiet sound, meant to be barely audible above the din of the others’ business. There were only a few moments silence before the metal doors parted to reveal the Vicar just as he’d left her.

“Hey, you got a minute?” She was asking the question while simultaneously scrambling for the courage that left her as soon as he appeared before her.

“Of course. What’s vexing you?” He offered a polite smile and set the book in his hands down on the desk behind him. Celestia swallowed hard and steeled herself, forcing the courage back into her bones so she could just get it over with. Following him into the privacy of his room, she chewed at her lip until the doors slid shut.

“Okay, so…remember on the Groundbreaker when we went to go after MacRedd and he told us about the history between him and Commandant Sanita?” She was keeping her voice as quiet as possible to make sure she wasn’t overheard. Rejection would be hard enough without hearing about it from the others for the next week. “They weren’t exactly in love with each other but they were able to serve a purpose. Fill a role, so to speak.”

“Are you referring to their _carnal understanding_?” He asked after a moment, shifting his weight to the other foot. Whether he was already guessing what she was building up to or not was impossible to tell.

“Yeah, that.” She let out a sigh. “Look, Max. I’ve been on ice for 70 years and everyone I knew is stuck on a derelict colony ship or on a planet lightyears away. I don’t want to go fumbling in the dark with the next colonist that doesn’t try and shoot at me, and Spacer’s Choice isn’t exactly bulk producing vibrators so…”

He stared back at her blankly. Whatever was going on in his head, he wasn’t putting it into words. She thought she saw the slightest blush creeping up his neck from under his collar, but it wasn’t enough of an answer to quell the rapid pace of her heart.

“God, you’re really going to make me spell it out, aren’t you?” She winced, crossing both arms over her chest. “I’m proposing for us to have a ‘carnal arrangement’ of our own. Not asking you to marry me or love me or any of that. Just a warm body and a way to relieve the stress so I don’t wind up pulling my hair out. But since I’ve been talking so damn much I’m sure I’ve messed it up so I’m going to leave now—if you’re down I’ll be up for the next hour. If not, no hard feelings.”

With that she promptly left his room, making sure the doors shut behind her before speeding down the hallway. She couldn’t get away fast enough, couldn’t put enough space between her and what had just unfolded. It sounded so much better in her head. It always sounded _so much better_ in her head. She didn’t hate the Vicar; he was always attentive when she spoke to him and never failed to back her up in a firefight. Was she attracted to him? Sure. Did she have feelings for him? The jury was out on that one. Besides, that wasn’t required for what she asked of him.

She jogged down the stairs and looped around to retreat to the safety of her room. The doors closed behind her and she heaved out a breath, smacking her head a few times on the metal wall before going over to her terminal. Collapsing into the chair, she slouched down until the sight of Terra 2 below them was just visible over the top of the terminal. More than anything, she felt stupid.

After all, she made it. There were thousands of colonists still stuck in an endless cryostasis just at the edge of the solar system. The unfamiliar solar system. All this newness around her, the absolute miracle of humankind surviving in a foreign system, and here she was worrying about getting laid. Maybe it was something the psych evals should have picked up on before she was cleared, but judging from the healthy population of pirates and marauders there were far worse things lurking in the human psyche.

Celestia kept an eye on the clock and watched the minutes run away from her. The little moon man on the spacer’s choice logo that sat atop the clock bobbed silently from side to side with a permanent and slightly horrifying smile. In the dim reflection of the powered down terminal, the Captain studied herself. She may not have been anything special to look at, but she wouldn’t consider herself unattractive. That only made her think that if he didn’t show, it was something else. What could be worse than someone not being attracted to who she was as a person? To be seen as ugly on the inside?

It was a possibility she really didn’t want to consider. Maybe he just didn’t think it was right given her unofficial role as Captain. Maybe he only wanted someone who was as heavy into OSI as he was. Maybe he just thought she was too young for him. Whatever the reason, as she begrudgingly watched the time go by, she got more and more riled up. Stepping away from the terminal entirely she got on her knees by the storage bin and begin to absently rifle through her collection of oddities. Her first gun in the new colony, spare clothes that weren’t exactly her style but would no doubt serve well if her alternative was to be covered in blood, the helmet and suit she wore on the Hope. Memories of the past and mementoes of the future.

The quick knocks on her door shot her pulse up to a breakneck speed. She felt her guts get tight with anticipation as she slowly got to her feet, subconsciously tried to fix her hair, and approached the door. Pressing the button on the right-side panel, the entrance opened to reveal the Vicar himself. They stared at each other in silence for a moment too long before she finally managed to say something.

“Hey.” What an opener. Mentally smacking herself, she stayed still in the same spot until he folded his hands behind his back.

“May I come in?” He asked, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly. She nodded, moving out of the way so he could enter. To ensure they had privacy, she sealed them in her room and turned to face him. She wanted to ask him why he was there, just to be sure, but couldn’t bring herself to form the words. She didn’t want to hear him say _I’m flattered, but…_ “I suppose I’m curious as to what you envision this…arrangement to entail.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t thought about it much beyond getting him into bed. “I mean…ideally, we go at it any time either of us needs it. Personally speaking, that’s usually after a particularly frustrating conversation or a big gunfight. Anything that stresses me out, really.”

“That sounds agreeable.” He wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about it, but she wondered if that was just his nature. He didn’t seem to get worked up about much unless he was shooting at it. Beyond that, maybe he was just trying to be polite. To act like they weren’t detailing how they were going to be fuck buddies. “I’ll admit, since my time on Tartarus I’ve been primarily consumed with my Scientism research. I haven’t exactly made time for…”

“Max, I haven’t been laid in over half a century. I think you’re fine.” She joked, trying to put the both of them at ease. He let the smallest laugh escape him, and through his Vicar persona an iota of bashfulness overcame his features. “Are you…I mean, is there any preference for when this all starts?”

“Truthfully, I was hoping tonight. If you’re comfortable with that, of course.” He took half a step closer towards her, his eyes going over her body briefly. “I’d by lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it before. I just didn’t imagine it was a shared desire.”

“I’d say it’s quite present on my end, Vicar.” She promised, heat rising to her cheeks as she boldly took a step to meet him. He tentatively reached out and lay a hand on her waist, waiting to gauge her reaction before mimicking the gesture with his other hand. Celestia pressed both hands to his shoulders and let them trail down to his chest. He was broad-shouldered and between the physical demands of life in the colony, his time in prison, and his upbringing as a laborer his body was in peak condition. The robes couldn’t hide that.

Leaning forward, the Vicar gently pressed his lips against hers. It was a distant kiss at first, each move he made testing the waters or maybe her boundaries. She responded in kind which gave him the push needed to deepen the kiss. As his tongue slipped past her teeth to meet hers, Celestia tried to remember the last time she had even been kissed. While she knew it was decades ago, she hadn’t felt that time pass. Still, it had been at least a couple of years. Too long.

Max used his grip on her waist to pull her close against him, their bodies touching as he ran a hand up her back and into her hair. She wrapped an arm around his neck and felt her breathing get shallower as they came at each other time and time again. Their shared shyness or apprehensiveness seemed to dissipate with each passing moment and she couldn’t have been more relieved. The initial shock of their first kiss, the tingles that spread through her body at the contact, they were wearing off to make room for pure enjoyment. He tasted like the strange coffee mix he drank and smelled like lingering plasma smoke.

Using her free hand, she tugged at the small elastic clasps that held his vestments tight against his body. With deft fingers she freed the first few rungs—just enough to fit his head through the neck of the fabric. She pulled away from the kiss, the both of them a little breathless as she started to gather the lengths of his robe. He watched with hungry eyes as she worked the fabric up his body and over his head entirely. A sigh left her at the sight of him, the very image of strength and endurance, and she felt her teeth dig in to her bottom lip. Not wanting to draw it out longer than needed, she stepped away from him and reached for the control panel on the wall.

“Leave the lights.” He said in a low murmur, the tone stirring up something deep in her core. “I want to see all of you.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that except to obey. Returning to him on light feet, she stood idle as he gently pulled the straps of her bra down from her shoulders. Reaching behind her, he pulled the two sides of the band together and then lifted them apart, letting the fabric fall away entirely. He unabashedly took in the sight of her, placing a kiss on her neck and then between her breasts before kneeling down. Looking up at her, he gripped the top of her underwear and slowly peeled it down her legs. Whether it was the fact that he was the equivalent of a priest or just because it was Max, she felt more naked than she ever had. His attention to her was impossible to ignore, and the way he marvelled at her body only made her want him more. He pressed his lips to the inside of her thigh, bringing the kisses higher and higher until he gently parted her legs for access to his end goal.

The second his tongue touched her clit she took in a sharp breath. Her spine straightened out, but when he began to move and circle it, she leaned back on the frame of the sleeper bed for support. In response to her body tightening up he pulled her lips further apart and went at her with fervor. Within moments she was shaking from the long-overdue sensation, curses falling from her mouth as she gripped his hair tightly. He reached up a hand and languidly ran two fingers back and forth up her slit, teasing her entrance until she released a stifled moan.

He returned all attention to her clit instead, dancing circles around it with his tongue and lapping at her like he was getting paid. The sensation, so sorely missed, was building up at a rapid pace within her. There was no way for her to control the heavy breathing as her heartrate accelerated, hands abandoning the support of the bed frame to instead hold his head in place. There was no room in her mind for second guessing or regrets: this was _exactly_ what she wanted. He kept on her with a determined pace, reaching up both arms to lock around her legs to keep her still. The moans tumbled from her as she reached her precipice, the orgasm ricocheting through her so severely she shook. He didn’t give up, didn’t stop, until she rode out the waves in their entirety.

When he at last pulled away, he looked up at her with a smug smile on his face and wiped at his lips. She was still out of breath, but urged him to his feet so she could kiss him. It had all been but a taste, and now she could think of nothing but having him all over her. In the moments she needed to recover, Celestia pushed down the waistband of his pants, watching hungrily as they caught on his firm erection, and eventually pushed far enough to free him. She swallowed hard at the sight of him, both length and girth greater than she had imagined—and she _had_ imagined. Vividly. More times than she cared to admit, while touching herself on the very bed she pulled him onto.

Max made sure she didn’t hit her head on the descent, the two of them squishing into the abnormally small bed, even by Spacer’s Choice standards. He lay on top of her kissing her lips and then her neck while she spread both legs for him. He required no further invitation, the desire heavy in his eyes. He stared at her intently as he slowly dragged the head of his cock up and down her slit. He wanted to drink in her every reaction, the slightest muscle changes in response to his touch. She tightened as he nudged her entrance, waiting until she was fully relaxed before slowly slipping inside her. Given his size, she was grateful for the slow introduction, but at the same time just wanted him deep.

Inch by inch he stretched her open, brushing against her walls until he was as fully seated as he dared. Only then did he let out the low groan that had built within him. His head dropped down onto her shoulder as he savoured the feeling, raising his head to kiss her deeply before slowly pulling out. She whined at the loss, pressing both legs against his sides and coaxing him back into her. He was more than happy to oblige, the moan escaping him again at the feeling of her all around him. Max slid his arms under hers so he could hold onto her shoulders for leverage. After the third slow introduction, he slowly started to build up the pace. It was best for the both of them, but particularly she knew it would’ve hurt like hell otherwise.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he moaned earnestly, causing her to offer noises of her own. “Yes. Let me hear you.”

“Keep fucking me like that and I won’t be able to stop myself.” She quipped, offering a smug smile of her own. He smirked back at her, propping himself up on both elbows and proceeding to ram into her hard. He got what he wanted as she let out a yelp, one hand going up to brace herself against the end panel of the bed. He resumed the rough thrusts, snapping his hips flush with hers with shortening intervals until he found the right rhythm.

Taking one of his hands in hers, she directed it up her stomach and across her chest until it stopped at her neck. No further direction was need on his part, his hand wrapping around her throat just enough to feel good. He seemed to enjoy the change, looking her directly in the eye as he started to fuck her at a violent pace.

 _That’s Max_ , she thought. _That’s the fighter I’ve seen on the battlefield._ The tenderness was all well and good but she could always appreciate a certain roughness. This was the Max that abandoned his position as a labourer in a piece of shit town, this was the Max that got sentenced to the Labyrinth for heresy, this was the Max who could eviscerate enemies without batting an eye.

He held her throat tight in his group as he moved with a ferocious pace, a hunger taking over him more and more. The metal supports of the bed began to creak as their movements shook the structure which was, thankfully, bolted down. If it hadn’t been, she doubted either of them would have stopped. They were so wrapped up in lust, wrapped up in the way they were making each other feel, that it was impossible to care about anything else. The length of him filling her up and dragging across her nerves as he pulled out was the only thing in Halcyon she wanted to focus on.

The Vicar pulled sounds from her like they were confessions, drinking them up with eagerness. Sweat was beading on both of their bodies, and he at last abandoned the choking in favour of being close to her. Dropping down low on his elbows until they were flat against each other, Max pushed deep inside her over and over until her back began to arch. Her nails dug graves into the back of his neck and her breath hitched, one leg looping over his waist to keep him deep as the climax rumbled its way through her body. He had held out just long enough for her to reap the rewards—a true gentleman—and didn’t wait a moment longer to chase his own end. He gripped her shoulders and buried his face in her neck as he moaned deeply, the feeling of him spurting deep inside her.

The two of them stayed in that position for a while, first to catch their breath and then because it felt good, but after some time had passed, he gently eased out of her. Swallowing hard, he sat up on the edge of the bed and looked down at her. She couldn’t place the expression on his face, some mixed thoughts that were half buried and covered up, but it wasn’t important in the face of the ecstasy he’d just gifted her. When he looked away it was to reach for his pants, pulling them on one leg at a time and then reaching for his robes. He ran a hand through his hair to straighten it up, and pressed both palms to his chest to flatten the fabric once more. Still a little winded, he paused to drink up the sight of her completely satisfied on the bed.

“Until next time, Captain.” He nodded to her and took quiet steps out of her quarters. Whether or not any of the others heard them would be a mystery until the morning, but in the moment she didn’t care. She would go get washed up, put on her casuals, and try to have the first peaceful sleep since the old man woke her up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Spoiler Warning!***
> 
> This chapter contains spoilers for Vicar Max's loyalty quest "The Empty Man." If you haven't completed his storyline on Monarch, please be aware that I refer to the ending of the Monarch events in this chapter.

Given the absolutely abandoned haunt of a city they’d first landed on when they traveled to Monarch, it was hard to believe that just a few hours walk away lay the protected oasis of Fallbrook. Sure, it was a pirate’s haven and all manner of questionable dealings took place there, but no one was shooting at them and nothing was trying to rip their heads off.

Apparently, that was considered a win these days.

There had been several paths that led Celestia to the excommunicated planet. She had certainly made the rounds and, thanks to the best-stocked bar in Stellar Bay, managed to recruit a new companion for her messy excuse for an adventure. Nyoka was frightening not just for her alcohol tolerance, but also her ability to shoot straight while _severely_ under the influence. Underneath the numbing powers of the booze, though, she was hurting. Just like everyone else seemed to be in the Colony. It was hard to pinpoint if the pain was thanks to the way the Board had shaped this new world or if it was just the way life was now. It was a sad reminder of home either way.

Aside from the boiling pits of sulphur, the monstrous native fauna, and the rampant marauders, the war brewing between MSI and the Iconoclasts was just one more thing she managed to get herself wound up in. It wasn’t intentional—it rarely had been since she first woke up—but it was her reality nonetheless. Playing peacekeeper wasn’t what she signed on for. Back on Earth, she’d been selected for her science expertise; minoring in psych during her years in university didn’t exactly feel like an adequate qualification to prevent a civil war. But she was trying, and she hoped that counted for something.

While Celestia knew the layout of the Sublight town by now, she still hadn’t fully gotten over how it made her feel. Given the criminals kicking back around every corner, it should have made her skin crawl. But Sublight ran a tight ship and didn’t allow any kind of grudge matches to be settled out in the open. Beyond that aspect of it, though, there was an undeniable inspiration from seeing the way the town flourished. Stellar Bay may have had solid walls and the best pre-fab homes they had access to before the Board abandoned them, Sublight’s ingenuity made it feel somehow more human.

They had found a source of fresh water without endless nests of rapts or mantisaurs nearby, and then they set up shop. It required far fewer walls for safety than Stellar Bay, and they still managed to find a place big enough to have a landing pad. The rest of the buildings were all nestled under the pockmarked cave tunnel that spanned the length of the town. The architects of the town, however consciously done, had wound string lights in and out of the nooks on the cave ceiling, creating a night sky of their own. Whether it was the wall or the river or just the combination of all the cigars and cigarettes, the stench of the sulphur pits didn’t sting so bad in Fallbrook.

Above all, it reminded her that there was resilience to be found in the residents of Halcyon. Beyond that, there was determination. Whether out of hope or out of spite, the citizens of the colony endured. It was a trait she hoped would embody her too.

Given all the subterfuge and backroom deals, it was pretty easy to steer clear of other peoples’ business in the town. No one asked you any questions because they didn’t want you asking them anything either. Eyes may have lingered on her here and there, analyzing and planning and reacting in secret, but no one moved against her. No one bothered her. No one followed her.

With the path she was on, she was most glad for the latter. Nyoka had made a b-line for the bar the second they were within the walls of the town, and Max made some comment about heading to get his shotgun modded. It may have been silly, a little immature, but they employed the use of coded phrases to let each other know when a trip to the nearest lockable door was requested. Like pressing the call-button in an airplane or ringing for room service in a hotel, they changed up the phrases often enough to try and avoid suspicion. None of the other crew had mentioned anything if they had caught on, but she was hoping they were being sneaky enough to keep it off their radar. If she was being honest, the sneaking around was part of the fun.

Modding his shotgun was this week’s phrase of choice, so Celestia had gone into Malin’s House of Hospitality to kill some time while the Vicar headed off to the Fallbrook house she wound up buying from Catherine. It was apparently supposed to just be a rental—one of the VIP suites—but given her good standing with Sublight she was allowed a more permanent stay. Perks of the business, she guessed. When she was sure that Nyoka was several drinks deep, Celestia made her way down the only road in the town until she reached the last building on the left.

It was an end unit that faced out towards the undeveloped section of the town. Whether they would expand in the future remained to be seen, but for the time being all that stood before her door was the landing pad to the east, the river to the west, and alien grass all in between. The house came pre-loaded with standard furniture, but she considered the small table and two chairs on the modest porch a luxury. She had sparked many a conversation on those chairs with the likes of Parvati and Ellie. The former was far more forthcoming than the latter, but they were moments she cherished all the same: peaceful.

The captain’s hand hovered over the door panel for a moment before finally willing it open. The reinforced metal parted for her and revealed the interior just as she’d left it, with one addition. The Vicar. He sat at the desk in the back-right corner, hunched over a book with a jug of Plain ‘n’ Pure Water not far from reach. When she entered, though, he turned to face her. Maybe he was worried it would be someone else, maybe he was worried she wouldn’t be alone, or maybe he was anticipating an attack from one of the residents. Whatever the cause, he visibly relaxed at the sight of her, and then he smiled. Right when he knew it was her, no one else, the corners of his lips tugged up in a gesture he couldn’t hide. She fought down whatever feeling it was that the sight filled her with. Instead, she locked the doors behind her and started to heave off her armor suit and weapons.

Fallbrook may not have been made of the highest-grade materials, but the prefabs they had sourced—perhaps legally, perhaps lifted—weren’t all that bad. The metal walls were pretty standard, but she appreciated the feeling of wood floors and the generous offering of a woven rug in the centre of the room. It wasn’t a huge deal, but it made the place feel like less of an inherited flop house and more of a vacation home…relative to the rest of her travels at least.

When she first got the keys to the place, she made a stop and bought up every soap and cleaner she could source in the Colony. With a gas mask and set of rubber gloves fashioned from a self-contained lab suit, she scrubbed down every single surface in the place. While the room technically came with maid service, there was very clearly a limit to what they considered part of their job. Walls didn’t make the list, even when covered with old blood spatter. After several hours going over each inch of the place she could reach, she finally felt comfortable enough to stay there. Provided she brought her own linens, fully sanitized courtesy of SAM.

“Is today a frustration day or a boredom day?” Celestia asked as he approached her, taking her suit and weapons to place on the kitchen counters behind him. She didn’t _need_ to know why he’d asked for a rendezvous, but she liked to know the reason. He seemed to have a lot more times of frustration that led him to her than anything else, while for her it was almost always stress. Maybe a little more loneliness than she ever let on, but she was owed some privacy.

“I’d say more of a hunger day, actually.” He admitted, turning to face her again and pushing her hair over both shoulders. Although she was still fully clothed he studied her, as if merely the anticipation of what awaited him beneath was enough to begin to satiate him.

“Hunger? Well, I can get behind that. In fact…” she traced a finger up his chest and looked up at him with a grin. “I have a confession to make, Vicar.”

“Oh?” Whether it was her tone or her words that piqued his interest, she was pleased either way. He deftly began to unbutton her shirt, rolling it off her body. “I am always here to serve my flock, and I’m more than happy to take your confession now.”

“I confess…that all day…” She pulled at the clasps on his robe with each word. “I’ve been thinking about how it would feel to have you inside of me. _Deep_ inside me. Over and over and over again until…well. I’m sure you get the picture.”

Despite how many times they’d hooked up, despite them being _very_ familiar with each others bodies by now, her words still seemed to shock him a little. He raised his eyebrows just enough to notice, and if she didn’t know better she thought she caught sight of a blush blooming on his cheeks. In unison they rid each other of their remaining clothes and he pulled her in for a deep kiss.

“I suppose the best solution I can offer is simply to indulge you. Otherwise I fear your concentration may wane in the next battle, and my conscience cannot abide having a part to play in any injuries you sustain.” He brushed the bridge of his nose along her jawline and placed chaste kisses down her neck.

“Thank you for understanding, Vicar.” She kept up the act, but it would have been lying to say she wasn’t actually grateful. Because whether there was something with the planets in Halcyon that affected her or it was some by-product of the drugs used to keep her in cryo, she had been borderline in heat for the last 24 hours.

Reaching a hand down between them, Celestia brushed her fingertips along the length of him and drew circles around the base of his cock. His body stiffened at her touch, but before he could take things in his desired direction she lowered her knees to the ground in front of him and took him firmly in her grasp. The woven rug beneath them would leave pattern prints in her knees, but it was better than kneeling on the rigid wood floor. Sticking out her tongue, the captain slowly leaned forward and licked a straight line from the base to his tip, circling around it a few times. She reveled in the way he struggled not to fall apart, his eyes intent on watching her work.

She blinked up at him and kept eye contact as she slowly took him into her mouth. His hands clenched at his sides and a drawn-out moan left his lips. It was a sound she had long since grown to love, most of all due to how composed he seemed to be outside of their private encounters. Celestia began to bob her head up and down the length of him, slowly at first, and using her hand to stimulate the length she couldn’t fit in her mouth. Each time she pulled up, she danced her tongue around the tip of his cock.

“ _Architect, take me_.” He breathed, eyes slamming shut from pleasure. His hands had by now moved into her hair, gripping tightly but loosening now and then as if he kept forgetting how hard he was actually holding her. With each sound she drew out of him she sped up the pace, the slick suction sound echoing in the small quarters. The captain did her best to keep her breath, but when she needed to come up for air she ensured her hands picked up the slack.

He was a slurring mess by the time shed made it back to him, and she had only gotten a few more repetitions in before he was reluctantly dragging her to her feet. Her lips were glistening and flushed, her chest heaving slightly as she leaned back against the workbench to give her knees a reprieve.

“Keep that up and I’ll be no good to you, Captain.” He said with a small laugh, brushing his thumb against her cheek.

“You’ve proved more than once you can be effective with _other_ parts of you.” She teased, pulling him in for a series of quick kisses. He pressed up close against her, and took the kisses from her lips to her jaw and down her neck. She sighed contently as he pressed his lips between her breasts before moving his attention to her left nipple. Pressing his tongue flat against the surface, he licked up and gently blew cool air against her skin to perk it up. Towering over her, he brought his mouth down around her breast and began to loop his tongue around her nipple. Sliding his hand up her thigh and ribs, he used his thumb and index finger to stimulate her other breast, working in tandem with his mouth to satisfy her. His periodic murmurs against her skin shot straight down to her core, filling her skin with goosebumps. The Vicar trailed his hand down her middle before sliding two fingers between her folds.

“Law, you’re soaked.” He observed, bringing both fingers up to his mouth to taste. No matter where they met or the context that brought them together, he never ceased to show anything but absolute desire for her body. It was all could have asked for.

“Yeah, well, you’ve kind of got that effect on me Vicar.” She shrugged, laying her hands on his abdomen. He kissed her with hunger before quickly spinning her around. He pushed her against the workbench and used his feet to pry her legs a little further apart. With his hands firmly gripping her waist, he pulled her flat against him and wasted no time in slipping inside of her. The force of it forced a gasp of air from her lungs, and after a moment of getting accustomed he pressed his chest flat against her back.

“By the Architect…” He murmured, nipping at her earlobe. “You feel _impossibly_ good.”

Before she could even think of coming up with a witty retort, he was already easing out and ramming back inside of her. Her hands scrambled to hold onto the first solid structure within her reach—in her case, the metal supports for the workbench—and she braced herself as he stretched her out. The Vicar’s nails dug deep into her hips to the point where she was certain there would be bruises in the morning. She didn’t care, though, if it meant she got to feel this, to feel _him_.

“Oh _fuck_.” She exclaimed in between breaths, swallowing hard as his hips crashed against her. The various weapon parts and tools on the workbench shook with each thrust, rolling ever closer to the edges until they finally fell to the ground. He pushed until he was fully seated inside her every time, stretching her to the maximum in the most blissful way. His tip dragged along her walls with every movement, and he angled her hips until she shuddered—an indication that he was finally hitting the right spot.

Max reached an arm under hers and across her chest to grip her shoulder. She was entirely encapsulated by him and if it weren’t for the sweat beading on their skin, they would have been nearly sealed together from how close he held her. Now and then he would roll his hips to change the momentum—or perhaps to give her a chance to catch a moment of breath—but he inevitably returned to her with vigor and dedication.

“God, don’t stop Max.” She begged, his roughness forcing a moan from her before she could even try to stifle it. She could feel the pressure building up between her thighs, her head lolling down as he kept up the momentum. Moving his hand across her throat to the back of her neck, his fingers slid up into her hair and he yanked her head back towards him.

“Are you going to come for me, Captain? Hm?” His breath was hot against her ear, the commanding tone of his voice threatening to undo her that instant. She could feel herself begin to squirm and knew her release was close. “Will you come for your Vicar?”

“ _Yes._ ” She promised, the word falling from her mouth in a flurry as he began to fuck her so rapidly that the feet of the workbench began to screech against the floor. “ _Yes, yes, yes_.”

As soon as his free hand dipped between her legs and began to circle her clit, she completely unravelled. Her knuckles turned white from gripping the workbench so tightly, and she shuddered wildly as a loud exclamation of pleasure ripped out of her throat. Max followed right behind her, both arms wrapping around her as he released deep within her. The sound that escaped him sounded closer to a growl than anything else which only prolonged the sweet climax cycling through her.

He held her still, supporting her even as her legs went weak. Though he slumped over her in their aftermath, hands slipping until they pressed against the surface of the workbench, he was there to keep her from falling and she was grateful for it. The two of them stayed like that until the air could once more return to their lungs, and even then he held onto her. When she at long last straightened up, he slowly eased out of her, pausing if her breath hitched.

Celestia turned back around and let out a heavy contented sigh, kneeling down on the rug and laying down on her back out of exhaustion. Max followed suit and the two of them lay on the ground side by side. The smell of their arousal was heavy in the air, but it wasn’t a place any of the others usually stopped by so it didn’t bother her.

The two of them stayed in silence together, shoulders brushing with each rise and fall of their chests, and Celestia tried to summon the courage to ask the question that had been in the back of her mind since indulging the Vicar’s request of visiting his scholar friend on Monarch. If she kept her mouth shut they could ride out the rest of the dopamine high, go their separate ways, and meet up again just like this in a day or an hour or whatever they felt like. But if she kept it in, it would eat away at her from the inside out. She wanted to believe she didn’t deserve that.

“Hey, Max?” Her voice came out quieter than she’d anticipated, and had he not turned to face her right away she may have abandoned her train of thought simply from fear of sounding weak. It was stupid for her to think, because at this rate he seemed to be initiating their dalliances more than she did, but she was worried if she said the wrong thing that maybe he’d pull away. That he’d rethink things and realized she wasn’t worth the trouble. There was a reason _abandonment issues_ had been flagged on her original psych eval.

“Yes?” His voice was still breathy, but his eyes were clearly focused on her. It made her hesitate and eventually look back up at the ceiling.

“Why did you lie to me about Chaney?” She spoke with more conviction this time, trying to remind herself that she deserved the truth with something as big as this. He had asked her to come to Monarch specifically to find this man, Chaney, who allegedly would have helped translate Bakonu’s journal. Only, when they found him in Fallbrook, Max was ready to execute him. It had been a revenge mission, not a revelation mission. She would have still made the stop, if only to get answers, but the fact that he spun such a lie made her second guess entirely where they stood.

“I owe you an apology, Celestia.” He admitted after a moment’s pause, turning away from her to focus on the ceiling as well. “I’ve been so obsessed, for so long…I couldn’t see anything else. You offered me a place on your crew, your friendship, your _body,_ and I used you to get to Chaney. And even then, you saved me from myself. I don’t know if I could live with myself had I gone through with it. You owe me nothing, I know, but I’m…I’m begging your forgiveness.”

The vicar turned to face her proper now, sitting up on an elbow to devote his full attention to the apology. The captain was rethinking her decision to initiate this conversation while they were both stark naked. It was already disarming enough but the rawness of his words just made her feel like covering up. His eyes weren’t wandering, though. They remained fixed solely on hers, whether out of desperation or sincerity she didn’t know. While she hated being lied to, especially by someone she had been travelling with for so long now—and someone she was fucking, no less—she understood his motivations.

When they first met, he was a step below a hired gun and she was an express ticket out of a backwater small town on Terra 2. It made sense that his plan would have originated back then, back before they knew much of anything about each other, but what hurt more was the fact that he never came clean about his motivations. She would be lying if she said she’d never done the same—hid her truth to get a desired outcome—but not when it came to a friend, and _definitely_ not when it came to murder.

Bakonu’s journal and the supposed secrets that lay within had been his sole focus for years now, though. From the moment he decided to abandon his prescribed role as a labourer and become a man of the cloth, he had been wholly dedicated to learning everything he could about Scientism and the OSI. While in the Labyrinth prison (as a prisoner, another lie of omission as she’d discovered in the fallout of the Chaney debacle) he’d learned of a book that would contain the very answers he’d spend decades of his life searching for. A big step closer to understanding the Plan contained in the pages of a banned book. To finally get his hands on it only to find out it was something that 99% of colonists could no longer read…she could imagine how it could make someone a little crazy. Especially when that person had mild anger management issues in the first place.

“I understand. We all get a little obsessed sometimes.” She couldn’t hold it against him forever. She wanted to believe his apology was sincere, and the sound of him begging only lent credence to his words. “I won’t be okay with this happening again. But…you’re forgiven.”

“Thank you.” He said with a small bow of his head. “I promise, I’ll be nothing but truthful from this point forward.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Vicar.” She said sternly, reaching for her underwear so she could start getting dressed. Before she could get very far he reached out and took her wrist, easing her in his direction only once she turned. He kissed her, soft and sweet, in a way that felt different than their usual hunger-driven way. It gave her pause when he pulled away because they just didn’t kiss after sex. Leading up to, sure. During, almost always. But afterwards it was usually a quick departure and a promise for the future. Their eyes locked, each trying to read the other but without success, before he released her and began to get dressed himself.

“If you don’t mind, I actually _would_ like to make some modifications to the new shotgun.” He buttoned and zipped his pants while she pulled on her shirt. She nodded, taking it as her cue to leave. She was more than happy to return to the Unreliable; she was convinced by snippets of conversations she’d heard between Parvati and SAM that the robot may have been a little more self-conscious than it was letting on. Leaving the Fallbrook home behind, the captain stood on the porch as the doors closed behind her and heaved out a sigh.

“Well, guess that explains why Vic’s been a lot less grouchy lately.” Ellie said coolly from the table to her left. The sudden voice startled her, but not nearly as much as the words. The sawbones was smoking a cigarette with both feet up on the table, eyes focused on the river in the distance.

“Shit.” Celestia cursed under breath, rubbing the bridge of her nose and leaning on the railing.

“Relax, I’ve got no interest in spilling your dirty secrets.” Ellie settled in a little more to her chair and took a deep drag from her cigarette. “I just hope you’re keeping to your quarters cause if you’ve gone at it in the common areas that is some _seriously_ unsanitary shit.”

It was enough to make her laugh, which was at least better than the muddled mess of thoughts and feelings twisting up her insides. Celestia promised they wouldn’t—that they _hadn’t_ —and told Ellie she’d see her back on the ship. It wasn’t going to be the best night for sleeping.


	3. Chapter 3

The streets of Byzantium still hadn’t lost their glamour. While it was far from her first time visiting the city, the excessive grandeur of the place was such a stark contrast to the rest of the Halcyon colony. Even with so many of the storefronts in Prosperity Plaza shuttered closed thanks to sprat infestations, one block in Byzantium had more wealth in it than the entire town of Edgewater. Celestia hated that, and felt the resentment in her bones as she walked through the Estate District. Worse still, it didn’t take away from the lustre of the place. It was gated to perfection, the population of wealthy residents wholly sheltered from the horrors of the outside world. Colonizing the outer worlds was supposed to be a chance for a new start, the height of space exploration, and a giant leap towards learning more about life on other planets. Instead, it was capitalism all over again. Like a dormant virus carried in unsuspecting cells, ready to lay down new roots wherever it could.

There were a lot of things about the Halcyon colony that made her feel like an outsider, and the violence wasn’t the biggest factor. More than anything, it was the beliefs and state of mind that so many had. It was frightening that within a few short decades, the hopes and dreams for democracy and justice and the new frontier were wiped clean and replaced with duty to the point of death. Indentured servitude, basic living supplies withheld, sickness left to run rampant among those who couldn’t pay—it just baffled her how they all forgot. Or perhaps how some of them erased the past. 

The art deco buildings towered above her down each street she walked, like the ancient walls of the Grand Canyon back home. She wondered if there was any hope of ever going back, and then felt a pang of guilt at considering jumping ship. There were people here she cared about; friends, family even. And…maybe something more. It wasn’t something she liked thinking about too deeply, and certainly not with her current destination. After all, what kind of rendezvous had a prelude of rumination?

Her clothes made Celestia stick out like a sore thumb amongst the residents, their whispered insults and attempts at othering hurled at her from every street corner. She didn’t bother paying attention to them though, focusing instead on putting one foot in front of the other. As she neared Dr. Chartrand’s apartment, she wondered if it would have been a good idea to bring SAM along. Not that he would do anything to stop the stares, but at least there would be someone to guard the door. Someone who she could politely request they turn off their auditory recorder. As convenient as it would be, the way Parvati spoke to him made her wonder what was going through its’ processor. Some days it was nothing more than bolts, while others its dialogue was simply far more subtle than any other unit she’d come across. 

Casting a glance up and down the street, Celestia used the key to unlock the door and head inside. Whatever the streets of Byzantium made her feel, it was nothing compared to the inside of the doctor’s house. The front room alone was larger than any residence in the rest of the colony. It was lined with gilded marble and grandiose columns and lavish furniture everywhere she looked. She had wandered through the half dozen rooms on the main floor long ago, taking in the sights and wondering how one person could sleep in such a haunting place. The expensive design may have fit in with the rest of the city, but with no one to make it a home the place just felt like a ghost town. 

Heading up the grand staircase, Celestia trailed the tips of her fingers up the bannister. It was cold to the touch but had started to gather a thin layer of dust. She rubbed the build up between her thumb and forefinger, inspecting the remnants as they balled up from the friction. Wiping it on her pant leg, she followed the stairs up and to the left to one of the hallways. It truly must have been a house intended for a larger family, or at least someone who did a lot of entertaining, of which Dr. Chartrand was neither.

The last door on her right was the final destination. She paused outside of the door to admire the candelabra on the credenza. It was molded out of what looked like steel, a design of concentric yet overlapping circles that were reminiscent of something that would be found in an OSI church. It held five candles, wicks long since devoid of flames. She felt like striking a match for a moment and bringing them to life, wondering if they might bring a sense of comfort, but she resisted. There was a different kind of comfort planned for the night. 

Entering the master bedroom, Celestia let out a heavy sigh and took off her armor. Gingerly placing the pieces on the nearest dresser, she stripped down to just a shirt and light pants before sitting down at the vanity. The lights automatically turned on at her presence, a strip of neon running around the perimeter of the pyramid shaped mirror. She studied her appearance and was caught off guard at the sight of herself. It wasn’t that her hair was messy, which she used her fingers to straighten out, or that she had a fresh scar on her cheek from one of the most recent firefights, but rather the look in her eyes. She could see it, without even trying to look, that something was weighing on her. _The weight of the world, if Phineas was to be believed_.

Fucking Phineas. He was a goddamn madman, to be sure, but she couldn’t help but believe him. Beyond that she felt like she owed him to some extend; he was the one who woke her from cryosleep on the Hope. He was the one who saved her from an infinite existence on ice. In her low moments, though, she resented him. Out of all the colonists, all the people who were smarter and stronger and more resilient, he picked her. He doomed her. He forced her into this world where nothing was as it was meant to be and everything was falling apart and said to her _Good morning. Here’s a gun. Fix this shit hole, would you?_

The sound of footsteps on the staircase made her heart flutter and snapped her from her thoughts. Reaching a hand out for her weapon, she held it by her side and kept a finger trained on the trigger. Always ready for anything—Halcyon had taught her that much. The last earthling held her breath as the footsteps came closer and closer, eventually stopping outside the door and pushing it open.

Of course it was a familiar face, and the very one she’d been expecting. She relaxed at the sight of the Vicar and put her gun back, flashing him a smile and working to get the look off her face. He was far too attentive for his own good, though, and she could tell that he was reading her like an open book. Given the context of their meeting in this place, he opted not to pry. 

“Sorry I’m a bit of a mess today.” The captain got to her feet and pushed in the seat for the vanity, watching the lights dim down to nothing in her periphery.

“You’re far from a mess, Cel.” He promised, tucking her hair behind both ears while she pried off her shoes. 

The bedroom of Dr. Chartrand, along with the rest of her home, had effectively been vacant since Celestia first raided her lab. It had been a mission from Lydia on Sublight’s behalf, and she was anything but surprised at the revelation that aliens had absolutely nothing to do with what was going on. Though in some ways, aliens may have been the preferable alternative to human experimentation. 

The décor was just as rich as the rest of the place, a giant king-sized bed taking up only a small portion of the room’s footprint. It was adorned with a thick comforter and a useless number of decorative pillows, all adding to the glamourous excess of Byzantium. There were large abstract paintings on opposing walls and a daunting chandelier in the middle of the ceiling. All of it faded away as soon as he touched her skin.

It was a gentle gesture, skin barely touching hers, but it was there. He was there, and so was she. A powerful reminder when it mattered most. Reaching out to grab hold of his vestments, her grip was too tight to ignore. She needed this distraction now more than ever—and he was more than willing to comply. Covering her hands with his own, he helped her remove his robes up and over his head. He led the way, removing one layer after another from him then her and back again until nothing stood between them. Most times he liked to pause at this point, to drink in the sight of her and whet his appetite for what was to come, but that was forgone for the moment. 

He pulled her into a deep kiss, one that was equal parts passion and affection. Sweet and sultry and enough to force her out of her whirlpool of a mind. His hands moved from her cheeks, down her neck, tickling her sides, until he gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her into the air effortlessly. Turning around, Max gently lay her down on the mattress. As she moved backwards into the middle of the bed, he climbed over her and caged her in with both arms. Lowering himself just close enough, he started with kissing her stomach and worked his way up to her chest. Lapping his tongue over each peak, he lightly pressed his teeth to the skin in between before continuing his kisses up her neck. He finally stopped at her mouth, locking eyes with her for just a moment too long before renewing the passion from before. 

Something had changed in Max ever since they found the Hermit. Going on a drug-addled trip in some stranger’s back room on a mostly-uninhabited asteroid was definitely _not_ how she had seen her day going when they’d arrived, and where they ended up wasn’t what she’d anticipated either. If anything she felt like she’d accidentally betrayed him or messed him up somehow by fucking with his understanding of Scientism. It was the total foundation of not just his life but his sense of self, so to have that cruelly ripped away by hallucinations of his mother and even himself, it was something that weighed on her for a while.

Against all odds, though, he reacted positively. As he had time to process everything he heard and the things he saw, it left him filled not with rage but a sense of peace. The Hermit had told him that both violence and peace were warring inside him, but for the first time since she’d met him he’d finally seemed to separate the two. There was use, of course, for his fury on the battlefield. His violently enthusiastic disposition had tipped the balance in more than a dozen fire fights. Away from that, though, he was gentler. Kinder. Sweeter. Still a sarcastic ass sometimes, but she didn’t want him to lose that part of himself.

Celestia dragged her fingers through his hair and let herself get lost in his kiss, their tongues and teeth and lips a car crash cacophony propelled into bliss. The plush bed beneath them was like a cloud holding up their bodies, contouring to every minor movement they made. It may have been risky to have their meet ups in someone else’s house, especially when that someone else had previously been working for The Board, but the taste of luxury and cleanliness and relative safety was too seductive to say no to.

The Vicar eased away from her, his breath hitting her in sharp waves, and he dragged his fingers up the length of her thigh. Flattening his hand, he made sure to touch as much of her as he could manage until he reached her neck. He slipped two fingers into his mouth, thoroughly coating them, and she eagerly parted her legs for him. He teased her slit for a few strokes before slowly easing into her, her body adjusting to the sensation as her head settled into the pillow. After a few repetitions he began to go at her earnestly, one hand supporting the back of her neck as he looked her in the eyes. Her hips squirmed outside of her control, working to maximize the feeling.

“Law, you are perfect.” He whispered, a different kind of hunger in his eyes. The attention made her squirm just as much as the movement of his fingers, and she couldn’t fight back the blush she felt creeping up her neck. 

The kindness he had taken on wasn’t limited to her: he had a far calmer disposition with the entire crew now. He didn’t treat them like bodies inhabiting the same space as him, but instead took interest in their interests and made genuine conversation. While it may not have always been reciprocated—at which point he had no problem responding with acid—he was trying. For no other reason than he wanted to. Perhaps the sweetest moment she’d witnessed thus far was when they had been climbing the steeper mountains on Monarch with Parvati and she’d been a little winded, she worried about them getting ahead of her in such a dangerous place. He had responded without hesitation _We would never leave you behind._

She suddenly pulled away from him, making use of his moment of pause to take control. Pushing him onto his back, the captain straddled his hips and pressed a palm to his chest. The light chest hairs scratched against her skin, and in the moment it took for him to get his bearings she was already guiding the length of him into her. She took a deep breath and lowered herself in increments, exhaling as she went. He let out a guttural sound when she took him in, his fingers gripping her hips tightly in response. He was everything she needed at the moment—and maybe even after it. She punched the thoughts down and focused on the present, going down as far as she could handle and lingering for a moment to get adjusted. When she was ready, she pushed off the mattress and his chest before easing back down again. A contented sigh scratched out of her throat, her head lolling forward.

Her hair fell down around her face like a curtain, and instead of fixing it or grabbing it like he usually did, Max settled instead on sitting up so they could be face to face. He supported the bulk of her, his body providing all the support she could need, but he let her maintain control over the pace. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kept her lips close to his as she rode him. He kept one hand flat against her back, the tips of his fingers clawing at her ever so slightly. Celestia used her free hand to support her as she pushed off his leg for leverage, letting him capture her lips over and over. 

They were past the point of casual familiarity with one another’s bodies. They had long since blown past _carnal understanding_ and were now in uncharted waters. It wasn’t something she had brought up with him in any sense because she was just grateful for moments like this. Where she could, if only for a while, focus on something good. And he always made her feel good.

“That’s it,” he praised, nipping at her earlobe. “Just like that.”

The breathy tone of his voice sent shivers down her spine, goosebumps rippling across her skin in response. She began to move faster, rolling her hips now and then to keep things interesting. What was the difference between desire and obsession? It felt like they were both distilled into the sensation of him inside her. It was more than just sex and she hated it. What was the difference between obsession and love?

“Christ, I’m not gonna last much longer.” She admitted, biting at his lip before kissing him. He took that as his cue to take over, leaning them forward until he was on top of her again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and gripped at the comforter in preparation, and she was right to. Without any warning he began to snap his hips flush with hers, hitting her deep. It was the closest he got to fury without a gun, the way he fucked her when she asked him to. 

“I want to feel you.” He wasn’t quite begging but it was close enough to lead to her unravelling. “I want to feel you wrap tight around my cock.”

The Vicar talking dirty was one of her biggest weaknesses and he knew it. He pulled whimpers from her throat with each rough thrust, keeping the demanding pace until she wound up too tight to deny. It hit her in a cosmic burst at first and rippled out from her core, his release following immediately as her inner walls gripped him tight. She didn’t know what it was like on his end, but she truly had no idea how he managed to hold off each time. When she had finally ridden it through her legs fell from his waist, her whole body going slack. He lingered inside her for a moment before slowly pulling out and laying down beside her. 

The two of them lay in silence, staring up at the myriad of crystals hanging from the chandelier. They caught the light on every facet and cast it around like a high-end disco ball. She wondered what her life would have been like if she’d stayed on earth. Who would she be lying beside? Where would she be? Would the world even still be around? Maybe it didn’t deserve to be. Maybe this world didn’t deserve to be either.

The Vicar let his hand find hers in between their bodies and laced their fingers together. She let out a sigh and wished she didn’t give in to such melodramatic thoughts. Pulling her hand up to his lips, he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and turned to study her.

“What’s vexing you, Captain?” He asked in a soft voice. She debated whether she could get away with a lie or not, but decided if she were to tell anyone he would be first on the list.

“This stuff with Phineas wanting me to bring all the chemicals we stole to the Hope for the other colonists. It just…isn’t where I thought I’d be when I left earth. Robbing the highest-ranking members of what counts as a government in a capitalism-obsessed colony. Everything Dr. Chartrand said about our survival odds as a species out here. It’s a lot and I can’t help but feeling if I fuck this up, I’ve doomed everyone.”

“While I don’t doubt the potential impact of the outcome, you can hardly claim to be the centre of the universe Celestia.” He reasoned, reaching out to turn her face towards him. “These struggles and wrongdoings were put into motion long before you arrived in Halcyon. And besides, whatever you do, you won’t be doing alone.”

She looked him in the eyes, almost expecting to see a hint of deceit. Not a lie intended to hurt but to heal. Instead she found only truth, as unbridled and raw as their bodies. She pressed a kiss to his lips but he caught her before she could pull away, committing to the gesture and treating her with enough sincerity it made her blush.

“One drug trip and you’re a total sweetheart now, is that it?” She teased, turning away from him half out of embarrassment at her reaction. 

“Oh, I’m still an ass.” He shrugged, “just someone who knows who he is. And who he wants.”

His words were more than enough to give her pause this time. She looked over at him and furrowed her brow, trying to surmise the meaning of what he said. He watched the gears in her mind work furiously and decided to put an end to it. 

“Forgive me for being frank, but I can’t go on pretending you’re just a warm body. I can’t say what will come in the future, or where either of us will be when this business with the Board is over, but I can say that I…I don’t want to say goodbye.” 

Why did these words always have to come out when she was naked? The sincerity of his tone, his words, his gaze, the attention just made her want to cover up. It was the sort of thing usually said clothed or at the very least holding a blanket up for modesty. That’s how it was supposed to go, right? Or had that been lost along the voyage over as well? All of that was beyond the point because he had essentially just said—

“I love you. I’m in love with you, Celestia.” He leaned over her and lay a hand on her waist, the thing in her chest pumping furiously at his touch. “I don’t want to imagine where I’d be if you hadn’t come into my life, and I absolutely don’t wish to learn where I’ll be if you walk out of it.”

She didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t exactly the kind of speech a girl got every day. Or every week. Or even one time before in her whole existence. She was supposed to say something, though. How did she put it into words? How did she make all the things she felt inside somehow come out in speech?

“I love you too, Max. Have for a while, I think.” She managed, letting her fingertips dance up his forearm to his elbow. “No matter what happens, I…I want you there with me. I’m not certain about much else, but I’m sure about that.”

He smiled in response, a genuine gesture that she rarely saw. Max leaned down to kiss her gingerly and she felt herself melt with relief. The tension had been broken and it was truly the best-case scenario. It filled her with a sense of hope; if this thing that had been bugging her for weeks on end could be resolved with nothing more than a kiss, maybe she had a chance at saving the whole Colony.

If she was lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming with me on this little ficlet journey! Hope you liked it and if you didn't, that you can erase it from your memory.


End file.
